Tis The Season

Just thought I'd pop in and update since its been 6 weeks.... where does the time go?

We are 4 months (approximately) til little babe will be here and I know that the next 2 months are going to fly by with all the busy-ness. My plan (HA!) was to make this blog a little more lifestyle and not SO pregnancy related, but finding time to sit down and concentrate is easier said than done. I do enjoy putting my thoughts in a blog because I think we all have a story and need outlet to share it. I prefer to write because I feel God's words flow through my fingers better than my mouth.

This season we have been in is the definition of "process". We are currently saving and paying off debt (to move into next house). We are living with my in- laws (which has been a blessing). We are pregnant. We are growing our businesses. And we are getting prepared to build our next home. All of these processes, at times, have their moments of stress- but mostly it has made me appreciate the "process" phase of life.

God has taught me SO much in this season. I'm very grateful that God put it on my heart at the beginning of the year, to read a book each month. I think I'm one book short right now- but WOW I have read some incredible life-giving books. I wanted that time to honor God and I think every book has developed my prayer life and relationships.

Right now, God has us leaning into Him for so much support and it is growing our faith. If you've ever been in a transition in life (just waiting on that next door to open), you know that it can be worrisome, anxious, and downright frustrating. But peace enters when we ask God to be the center of all these processes. And He has given us a TON of grace. I wish I could say I was one of those people who is naturally humble in every way- but I'm not. God gets my attention on that seasonally. I love the thought of being humble. To me, it means being in constant need of God. And when you are waiting on "what's next" you have no choice but to need God. He always gives exactly what we need at the perfect time, whether that's more time with family, achieving goals, or just quiet. He knows what our spirit needs to be renewed and get through this phase and heck even learn something in it.

"Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy." Acts 14:17

Sweet Sixteen

So here we are again- another attempt to being consistent in writing.

As you may have seen, we are in deed with child again! If you've talked to me in the past year and asked me when we were planning to have more kiddos.. my answer was either never or in 5 years. My response to that question was from a place of exhaustion because as I've said before the Lord blessed us abundantly when making our little boy. So yes, this little love child is quite the surprise blessing that we are so anxious to meet.

We currently stand at 16 weeks and have had a pretty easy pregnancy thus far. Mild sickness especially in comparison to the first. A little less energy but that may be attributed to chasing the 2 year old around. It has flown by so far. I'm excited to be pregnant during the fall/winter since last time it was mostly spring and summer and HOT! You're probably never more aware of the temperature then when you are pregnant no matter how far along you are. When you are making a human it seems your body temperature is like a million degrees hotter. So, thanks Alabama.

We just got back from Disney World and it was SO much fun. The walking was killer on the feet- but I could walk all day to watch that boy's face light up. I'm so glad we were able to go this year and cherish our family of 3. We have the greatest extended family (really on both sides) and were overjoyed to spend time with alot of our cousins at Mickey's house. Definitely not a trip to go on without help, so very grateful for the all the hands on deck.

I'm hoping to be more consistent in writing, especially because I have loved so much looking back at all my old blog posts to compare. It may not be all baby all the time, as we have a lot of life happening right now that I would love to share. But for some reason I feel more compelled to write when pregnant.

The next big question is... BOY or GIRL? We already had a sneak peek to check but we will announce after the anatomy scan in October.

Very excited for our growing family. For a very long time I prayed that God would bless us without "trying" and while the timing wasn't exactly what we had planned, we are so overwhelmed by the opportunity to grow new life again. We cannot wait to see Levi as a sibling and he already checks on baby multiple times throughout the day. He loves hugging my belly and lifting my shirt to say "Hey!" with his cute little wave. This pregnancy has really made me appreciate my alone time with Levi and I'm so glad I get to spend my days with him playing in the dirt, swinging, and making important memories.

Thanks so much for all the love- it has been a fun secret to share.

Thought the verse of the day was pretty appropriate. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 13-14

I am reminded daily of His wonderful works.

Becoming Vulnerable/ Becoming Strong

"You Are For Me"- Kari Jobe             Listen to it.

I love when God speaks thru Pandora-- because I hear Him clearly thru Kari Jobe. :)

Have you ever prayed for something not really realizing what you are actually praying for?
For instance- if you've ever prayed for patience (bless you)- that's a learned skill if you're not given it. And it's a HARD one. I suggest praying for your heart to be softened- for God to distract you with serving- or to let it go.

I remember a time when I prayed to be a strong woman. :) Being strong takes hard work. It takes pressure. It takes sacrifice and it requires Him. and alot of Him.

I believe God made me an overcomer. It's a learned skill that we have walked together. It's not something to do alone- in fact I'd venture to say it's impossible without Him- I'm not willing to test overcoming without Him. From not making a team (three times), to having a miscarriage- God was there building me up and giving me strength to overcome by His might.

These are my most vulnerable moments.
They're also the most defining and powerful moments of my life. It was THEN, when I let go of the reigns that God took over.

And when God takes the reigns He blesses you tenfold. He puts you in leadership when you were praying for the lowly position. He'll give you friends grounded in faith when you prayed for a shoulder to lean on.

God is so good. He teaches us so much on our journey to the "next stop". What journey are you on with Him? What are you believing God for? How are you becoming vulnerable and allowing our Saviour to take the reigns?

Entering Purpose

So I'm still rolling with Warrior Magnificent quotes.

"At this phase, if your dream is really worth giving birth to, all heck may break loose. You may ask why this would happen-- simply because it is the ONLY way any warrior can develop the strength, wisdom, and courage to handle the success. You see, the JOURNEY IS ABOUT WHO WE BECOME IN THE PROCESS OF REACHING OUR GOALS." (emphasis mine)

I hope I am not alone in KNOWING that this is true! If I think about every process I've ever had to go through-- there was always a seriously painful part, a "Ok God what do you want me to do with THIS" part, and then a midst of revelation.

(Disclaimer.. this is really hard to write because I am in the middle of this process right now..)

I feel like the sooner we can direct our eyes to Jesus and what He's up to-- the sooner the pain fades away. I've found that when you're working for God's purpose the pain becomes joy. If you don't believe me read Philippians. It's shorter than Job.

And I say "midst of revelation" because sometimes God will reveal just a smidge of why something happened, but our God is ginormous.We can't even imagine how much purpose is behind our actions.

One of my biggest dreams is to become debt free. Like completely. I know I'm not alone in this- I read too much Dave Ramsay to know there's a shift happening. Let me tell ya what's painful... writing down all the debt you owe and hanging it up in your room. But we created it by bad choices and choices that we didn't even know were bad... what do they call that...... oh yea ignorance.

I want to pass down a legacy of good stewardship to my kid(s)- because God calls me to. I want to give without question. I want to help families who are struggling to make ends meet.

I want to be a good steward of the time God gives me because it's one of the only thing I won't get back. A big part of that is being completely present to the moment. Another is being free from debt so that a job doesn't control mine or Brad's time. I want my life to represent relationships that were built and fueled by God. I want any leadership roles we are given to reflect God's grace and love.

I'm ok with the pain because He brings me great joy.

pursuit of His promise

So after putting down Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson, I realized that reading not only encouraged me to be in the Bible more but also inspired how I prayed. I immediately reached for Warrior Magnicifent by Jamie Vrinios. She is a National Sales Director with Mary Kay- which is the highest sought after position in  our company. I'm hesitant to say all that because the book in no way references the business- instead it directly attacks the warrior God has made you and me to be.
My book quickly became highlighted with so many little nuggets. I haven't really had time to go back and reflect on all that this book did for me. Until now.
Reading this right after selling our house- affirmed to me how much God was and is working in our lives.
"The greatest resistance will come when a breakthrough is about to occur; and you must be diligent in this pursuit, or you will fall short every single time."
I'm sure many of us have heard a version of this but when you experience this, it really fires you up about encouraging others to keep at it. When we were told that our buyers needed to step away-- it was bad timing.. 1 week before Christmas.. 2 weeks before we planned to close.. and a HUGE PODS sitting right in front of our house to haunt us. YEA. There was a split second of wondering if God even intended on us to move.
When you get rejected by something or someone- it is so easy to think maybe this isn't what God planned. This is why prayer is VITAL in your everyday living. If God has given you a vision- you MUST focus on what He has promised you. Feed your mind with His truths and surround yourself with believers who will come alongside you and pray with and for you.
If you need more affirmation of this please watch this sermon. I finished Warrior Magnificent on Sunday and received a link to this sermon on Monday. I love when I can hear God telling me something LOUD and clear!
There are still times in prayer when I struggle to discern His voice and that's when I dig in to my Bible. Never let doubts cloud you. That's part of the resistance that is sure to come your way. God gave us this great LIVING book to reference and take as a guide for life. Something that helps me to really understand what I'm reading is finding a message from a trusted pastor, who digs into the scripture. I admittedly learn better through visual/audible aids. Even when I read books I want to look up the person and "get to know them". I think it helps me understand the heart behind the message.
ANYWAY
That is just another way to be DILIGENT in your pursuit.
To go along with the sermon mentioned, read Joshua 6. Remember our perspective is what's in front of us-- pray for God's perspective. He paints a much bigger and more beautiful picture.

write it down

How long has it been? O.o
Wups!
And No we are not pregnant.

For a few months now I have been feeling the tug to start blogging again. Instead I have been journaling my prayers and it has fueled my soul. If you've never documented your prayers- YOU SHOULD! It's amazing watching God work. So over a 40 day(ish) period I read through Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson and journaled. Meanwhile we were in the midst of having our house under contract, not under contract, and then under contract and sold! YAY!
It's incredibly surreal to not live in our first home anymore.
We are currently residing in Brad's parents' upstairs while we save up and figure out where we want to be... rather where God wants us to be.
But back to the prayer journal.
I just want to share how God showed off- because He deserves the glory. So about 2 weeks before Christmas, Brad was feeling a little pessimistic about our house selling and having to start all over again. I couldn't sleep and started praying (which I shamefully had been out of deep communication with Him). I can't explain it except God put the most amazing peace in my heart and firmly assured me that the people we were dealing with would buy the house. So the Friday before Christmas rolls around and we get the call that the buyers needed to step away from buying.
This was quite devastating for a lot of reasons. One being, that I was begging Brad to put his faith in God and trust that He has this. "Stay positive". So when we got the news I felt like God had lied to me and I had somehow betrayed Brad. This feeling really didn't resonate until late that evening and I crumbled before God. I searched His word for His truth. I was comforted immediately and decided I was going to hold on to that promise He gave me and that peace He filled me with.
We decided we would wait until after Christmas to pursue listing with an agent. I contacted her via text message the Monday of New Years. LITERALLY we are texting back and forth setting up a time for pictures and listing information when we get a text from the buyers asking if we have listed it yet. They were still interested and wanted us to hold off if we could.
Long story short.... lots of prayer and almost 2 months later- we closed on our house. I am SO THANKFUL for how everything happened because the Lord called me to have faith in HIM. He asked me to believe in that peace. Did it happen on my timeline? NO.

 One thing I learned in Draw the Circle was instead of praying for an answer ASAP... pray As Long As It Takes. It's in that time that if we will SEEK God, He will change our heart and make us grow. He will sustain us and build our faith. Journaling that time helped me so much because it helped me hold on to that peace He gave me.

So if you've never journaled your prayers I highly encourage you to try it. I'm no expert at praying and I think we could all admit to needing more quality time with the Lord. But God has taught me a lot about prayer. One being that He longs for that time with us. If you tend to make a laundry list of things you are praying for, I encourage you to ask 5 friends for prayer requests and really believe in prayer for them. It helps to be others focused in your time of prayer. I am in total belief that God wants to know our personal requests/prayers but once we have given it to God it helps to focus on others. I know that sometimes when I am really seeking Him I pray myself into worrying because I get sidetracked on the ifs and buts. But if I am praying for someone else I feel like I have a duty to uphold.

"Write down the revelation." Habakkuk 2:2

Rawlins Party of 3!

After FIVE weeks-- we're back to bloggin!

The past five weeks have been so incredible! I think this is the first time that I have actually sat down and thought about it. We've experienced a huge love for each other and oh this little bundle has our hearts! We are still adjusting to our sleep schedule- so if you have seen me or will see me soon please dismiss the new mom look. I'm feeling a little hair brained- I've found myself putting things in the cabinet instead of the refrigerator.. I took a dirty plate to my bedroom the other day instead of the dishwasher. And if that's not keeping me on my toes my handsome little man is!
I'm still trying to find myself in this new life. Slowly I'm easing back into society- in between feedings and diaper changes.

I have to be honest- I've been staring at this blog for two weeks now wondering what to write about and I either get interrupted or just can't find where I want to pick up at. So here's a summary of what life has been like for the past 5 weeks...

Levi Fisher joined our family August 27, 2013 at 2:19 p.m. weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 20 1/4 inches long. Call me crazy and I promise you I'm not sugar coating.. labor and delivery was amazing. I mean besides getting to meet the most handsome baby ever and being completely overwhelmed with this huge love (I could talk about that forever)- it was such a great experience. I was so anxious about each step (water breaking, epidural, pushing, etc.) that when it was all over with I couldn't believe how I let my imagination get away from me. It played in my favor because literally my family came in to see us and asked how everything went and I believe I said "I could do that 10 more times!!". They all looked at me like I was nuts- maybe it was the drugs talking.

St. Vincent's was top notch. We didn't want to leave!! BUT we did, which was the scariest ride ever. Highway 280 is not fun traveling with a 2 day old baby. We made it home safely and showed Levi his room (which he slept thru). It was so wonderful having him home. It started to sink in that we are responsible for that little guy at that moment. Kinda scary!
And oh that first night at home was a sleepless one. I watched him breathe for hours. I pray every night for angels to take the night shift and watch over him and protect him from bad dreams and harm of any kind. It's the only way I can get any sleep is putting it in his Father's hands.
The hubs stayed home the first week which was so great to have some "us" time. Then life got really scary for me when he went back to work. Thankfully my mom and his mom were over here helping me whenever I needed it and they continue to lend a hand throughout the week. We are very very grateful to live so close to our parents and have their involvement in Levi's life. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't had them the past 5 weeks. And Levi loves them so much.
I'm trying to make a habit of getting out of the house with him as much as possible, but that's easier said than done. Heck taking a shower is on my daily goals.. and sometimes it doesn't happen until daddy gets home. We're a work in progress.
Mommy life is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. And mommy world is not a new concept to me. I was 12 when my youngest brother was born so I had been around the crying, pooping, and lack of sleep but it's totally different being the person responsible for that little being. That being said- oh my goodness I love him. I mean there have been times (4:30 this morning) when I wonder how someone can muster up any more crying and then those big eyes lock with mine- and I just don't want him to go back to sleep. I could look in his blue eyes forever. His sweet little smiles make me wonder how I ever felt happiness before he was here. And sometimes when he's looking really snuggly I just want to kiss him but I try really hard to refrain from waking him.

I could seriously go on for days.
But I won't.
We have finally got on a rotating sleep schedule. I tried to be a hero (or martyr) and wake up with him and stay up until he fell back asleep but then I started going nuts and asked for some help. I had some guilt because B is working so I just felt like I needed to handle it myself so he would wake up and be ready for work in the morning. He squashed all that guilt as soon as I told him. He has been the perfect daddy and hubby. He has still made me feel like his wife even when he comes home to no makeup or shower mommy. And now that we're rotating I feel slightly more like ME again.

 

 

 Which brings me to blogging! God has been so good to us and we're so thankful for every prayer and sweet thought that have been sent our way.