The past five weeks have been so incredible! I think this is the first time that I have actually sat down and thought about it. We've experienced a huge love for each other and oh this little bundle has our hearts! We are still adjusting to our sleep schedule- so if you have seen me or will see me soon please dismiss the new mom look. I'm feeling a little hair brained- I've found myself putting things in the cabinet instead of the refrigerator.. I took a dirty plate to my bedroom the other day instead of the dishwasher. And if that's not keeping me on my toes my handsome little man is!
I'm still trying to find myself in this new life. Slowly I'm easing back into society- in between feedings and diaper changes.
I have to be honest- I've been staring at this blog for two weeks now wondering what to write about and I either get interrupted or just can't find where I want to pick up at. So here's a summary of what life has been like for the past 5 weeks...
Levi Fisher joined our family August 27, 2013 at 2:19 p.m. weighing 7 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 20 1/4 inches long. Call me crazy and I promise you I'm not sugar coating.. labor and delivery was amazing. I mean besides getting to meet the most handsome baby ever and being completely overwhelmed with this huge love (I could talk about that forever)- it was such a great experience. I was so anxious about each step (water breaking, epidural, pushing, etc.) that when it was all over with I couldn't believe how I let my imagination get away from me. It played in my favor because literally my family came in to see us and asked how everything went and I believe I said "I could do that 10 more times!!". They all looked at me like I was nuts- maybe it was the drugs talking.
St. Vincent's was top notch. We didn't want to leave!! BUT we did, which was the scariest ride ever. Highway 280 is not fun traveling with a 2 day old baby. We made it home safely and showed Levi his room (which he slept thru). It was so wonderful having him home. It started to sink in that we are responsible for that little guy at that moment. Kinda scary!
And oh that first night at home was a sleepless one. I watched him breathe for hours. I pray every night for angels to take the night shift and watch over him and protect him from bad dreams and harm of any kind. It's the only way I can get any sleep is putting it in his Father's hands.
The hubs stayed home the first week which was so great to have some "us" time. Then life got really scary for me when he went back to work. Thankfully my mom and his mom were over here helping me whenever I needed it and they continue to lend a hand throughout the week. We are very very grateful to live so close to our parents and have their involvement in Levi's life. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't had them the past 5 weeks. And Levi loves them so much.
I'm trying to make a habit of getting out of the house with him as much as possible, but that's easier said than done. Heck taking a shower is on my daily goals.. and sometimes it doesn't happen until daddy gets home. We're a work in progress.
Mommy life is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. And mommy world is not a new concept to me. I was 12 when my youngest brother was born so I had been around the crying, pooping, and lack of sleep but it's totally different being the person responsible for that little being. That being said- oh my goodness I love him. I mean there have been times (4:30 this morning) when I wonder how someone can muster up any more crying and then those big eyes lock with mine- and I just don't want him to go back to sleep. I could look in his blue eyes forever. His sweet little smiles make me wonder how I ever felt happiness before he was here. And sometimes when he's looking really snuggly I just want to kiss him but I try really hard to refrain from waking him.
I could seriously go on for days.
But I won't.
We have finally got on a rotating sleep schedule. I tried to be a hero (or martyr) and wake up with him and stay up until he fell back asleep but then I started going nuts and asked for some help. I had some guilt because B is working so I just felt like I needed to handle it myself so he would wake up and be ready for work in the morning. He squashed all that guilt as soon as I told him. He has been the perfect daddy and hubby. He has still made me feel like his wife even when he comes home to no makeup or shower mommy. And now that we're rotating I feel slightly more like ME again.
