Week 18

Well first let's start off by saying HAPPY EASTER! Thank you Jesus for dying a death that You did not deserve. This Easter was especially amazing for a lot of reasons. One being my precious little cousin Lilly asked Jesus into her heart on Thursday. There is no greater feeling than watching this little blessing grow up and want to live her life to glorify God. It made for a very emotional devotion before Easter.
Secondly--- we announced the gender of our little baby!!!

 

Thursday we headed to see the doctor and prayerfully hoped to find out the gender of our little baby. On the ride up to the hospital, our church was on the radio talking about Easter and experiencing Jesus. It was so comforting and just rested my heart. The closer we got to the hospital though the more my heart raced- thankfully Brad drove. As we veered off of Red Mountain Expressway, three of Church of the Highlands worship leaders began to sing "Place of Freedom". (which if you've been reading along you know this song is my anthem) I felt the Lord's arms around me and just felt truly blessed. I knew that whether we found out or not the Lord was guiding our steps and we were in His hands. I had asked 4 girls to pray for us and our visit and they were the only ones that knew we were going to the doctor. We had been avoiding the question from our parents because we didn't want to tell them when we were going and then be disappointed if baby did not cooperate. And I just love surprising people! Well baby cooperated!! Within seconds of us being in the ultrasound room little baby flashed us its goods! So without further adieu we are proud to announce....

Can I just say I am not only excited but RELIEVED! I have been wanting a little boy for so long! Don't get me wrong I would've been excited for a little girl but I would've been carrying around a donation bucket. I have loved watching my little brother grow up, and going to his baseball games- it has made me long for a little boy. My family is over populated with boys so little Levi will have plenty of little playmates to get in trouble with. We had our family Easter egg hunt and my littlest brother announced the news.

When we got finished in the ultrasound room we waited for our doctor for a little bit which gave me and B time to talk about all the things we are looking forward to. B's first statement was "I can't wait to throw baseball, and go fishing, and get him to help with cutting the grass".... yea you can see where his mind is at. I really want him to have a little girl one day because I know he will be putty in her hands. It's funny watching him with all our friends little girls-- he always comes home saying she is just the cutest little girl. Makes me love him oh so much more. But for now we will relish in our sweet little boy! Oh it feels so good to say him, he, his, Levi- than IT. I've already been calling myself Levi's mom--- AH so weird! and beautiful! I am so thankful to God for this precious little boy, he already holds my heart. We prayed so hard for the Lord's blessing that whatever we have that it will be a child of God. I can't wait to teach him to be a man of God and watch B help shape his faith and love for the Lord. It is such an awesome Easter- definitely one to remember! Our God is good and faithful- I hope His light shone on everyone's day today.





Week 17

Happy Palm Sunday! Today baby was not so active-- until we started listening to worship music and now we're jammin :-) baby after my own heart<3 We had some answered prayers this week.. not exactly the answers we wanted but we are trusting and believing that God's got this! My first reaction when I don't get what I want is "ok God must have something else out there" and for like a day I can hold onto that and believe it with every inch of my heart... and then this "planning" side of me intrudes and takes over my thoughts and ruins the peace in my heart. See I would love to say I'm one of those people who loves the journey as much as the ending-- but I am impatient and fall short of this. I am that girl that gets into a book and starts planning out MY ending and checks the back to make sure it ends the way I want it to. And normally I don't go back and read the five chapters I missed.
It's something that I'm working on. Don't really have a choice in real life. I know my ultimate ending-- and oh man I praise God for allowing us the security and hope in all that heaven promises. It is what allows me to realize any worry I have has an ending and it is not worth losing daylight over.
And besides that beautiful truth-- this little road we're traveling would not be as exciting if we slept through the years of prayer and doctor's visits and praising Him through it all and had our little bundle of joy when we woke up. (cannot wait!) Besides how my faith has changed over the past two years, praying over this squirmy thing constantly, the people that have shared their pregnancy stories with me have changed me. Some have made me feel so small and stupid for feeling sorry for myself and others I have been able to relate to 100%. But most of all, the ladies that have opened their hearts to me have given me hope. They've made me realize we all have a journey just like we all have an ending.
All that dramatic-ness to say-- me and baby and B are fine. We are praying for where the Lord would have us. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that one day I can look at this blog and be thankful for this time of prayer and need for His presence.
OK- so other than THAT, we had a good week! More blessed than we deserve! Daddy (ah!) started reading to baby One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss.

Um we got half way through the book and (64 page long children's book) mommy had to go to bed. Baby is probably hanging on the edge of its seat wanting to know the ending. *sorry*
I don't know if it's hormones or what but my sense of humor is getting a little out of hand. I'm laughing uncontrollably at stupid stuff. B thinks its hilarious and often tells me to calm down :) Oh how I wish he knew what it was like to be out of control of emotions. I mean I already laughed at anything and everything- I'm that girl that laughs at the teachers jokes and laughs hysterically during a funny at church. This isn't just a haha it's like getting tickled to tears and not being able to breathe (poor baby). I don't know maybe I'm just loosening up--or delirious (I think it's funny of course).
Most asked Question..... SO how are you feeling?
I feel like I am making a pretty awesome human! (to all you newly married folks- how tired are you hearing "SO how's married life") I'm going to start coming up with creative answers. Because nobody wants to hear the real answer...
- I feel like me and the potty are BFF.
- You smell terrible, please get away. faster
- Are you going to eat that?
jk but seriously. I am feeling like the luckiest person on the planet. I feel like God is too good to me. I feel like this is getting too emotional. It is both overwhelming and scary but beautiful and amazing. "My Chains are Gone" is on Pandora right this second and just has me thinking how overwhelming and scary but beautiful and amazing the Cross is. NOT THAT I AM COMPARING MYSELF TO JESUS!!!!!!!! literally typed that out as the song came on- and its just weird I mean how something so huge can have such opposite emotions and descriptions.
Cravings?
Me or the baby? If it weren't for low blood sugar and headaches I think I could not eat for a while. I don't want to say that I am ready for my appetite to be completely back because I am SUPER scared of gaining an ungodly amount of weight. So far haven't gained anything- just weight shifting to different areas. My mom gained a whopping 70 pounds with me- THAT IS NOT A TYPO. I was her first and... I don't know what happened- she obviously never experienced morning sickness. Bless her- she was still tiny. I would take up two zip codes. But my little baby LOVES some cheese. Especially cheese dip. (or maybe that's what I eat most)
Changes?
Well I thought my bump was growing and then like magically over the past 2 days- I got nothin. I guess the bloating is over. One day I might have some bump pics.. can't decide how I feel about being photographed but maybe it will be motivation to dress like a person and not a slob.
So thankful for this week and praying that the Lord uses us next week. Remember Easter is next Sunday! If you don't attend a church and would like to we go to Church of the Highlands and would love to share in this Easter weekend! I think we are going to go Friday night. I know it will be emotional and life changing. Praying for lives to be changed and God's grace to reach more lost people than ever before.
Celebrate New Life!!!!

Week 16

Another week has FLOWN by! This week so super exciting because I felt my little baby moving all around!! It literally feels like a little spider crawling quickly on the inside. Or a matchbox car rolling on the inside. It is very fast and I have to sit and concentrate to really feel it. So OF COURSE I tested what it responds to.. Wednesday night I played worship music right next to my belly and it was going 90 to nothing! BIG SMILES! It makes me laugh being able to feel it- it kinda tickles. :-) Makes me understand love so much more.

Ya know when you've been dreaming about something for so long and then when it happens it's just unbelievable. That's me everyday right now. Me and Brad went on our first vacation by ourselves when we were 19. We went to Destin,FL and stayed at a Motel 6 across from the beach. We purposefully went down to the beach and put our stuff near a bunch of families and began to dream of our own future family. As kids ran around us we would hear their parents yelling their names and we would comment on whether we liked their name or not. We talked about the "rules" we would set for our kids and how we would plan financially for their lives. Between 19 and 24 I have seen so many precious babies come into this world. I have been so fortunate to be a part of their lives and know them from belly to birth to chasing them around. I am slightly obsessed with pregnant women. I am the annoying person that wants to touch the belly and feel that little life kicking around. It never gets old and it always leaves me in amazement.

Since I am always the first one to run up to a pregnant lady and ask if I can feel- I owe it to the world to be a petting zoo. Open 24 hours a day. It is a little weird people touching your belly. This is my formal apology to all the precious pregnant women I have harrassed. Thank you for not kicking my butt. Your stomach is a sensitive place especially when it's growing. I can't really tell if I have a bump yet or if I need to lay off the Sweettarts (fave). It's a hard bump so I'll say it's baby not mommy. B laughs at me rubbing my belly all the time. Instead of a glowing pregnant woman adoring her tummy I look like an old man rubbin his beerbelly with delight. I don't care :) I'm pregnant and pokin it out! I'm just monitoring when B might be able to feel the first kick.

and it just feels funny to have a belly that pokes out but feels like a 6 pack. <----real reason

This little life growing inside of me is just bizzaro to me. I don't think I ever really believed that this would be given to me. I am not good enough for this gift-- which reminds me that none of us are or ever will be. Every day is a gift from God. Every breath, every safe ride home, every good nights sleep. We don't deserve any of it but praise God instead that He sent His son so that we never have to EARN His love.. All we have to do is accept it. Easter has become one of my favorite celebrations as I have gotten older. I love the time up to Easter especially just being 2 weeks away. I wonder what Jesus was thinking about this time. I wonder if He was able to grasp the weight of what His Father was asking of Him and what it would mean for generations to come. I wonder if He knew the pain He would have to endure being nailed to the cross to suffer for our sins so that we would not have to know eternal separation. All I can do is praise Him for doing it for me so that I would not have to. His love is unimaginablely big.

Symptoms at 16 weeks::
Frequent trips to the potty. Hiccups (constantly, for a couple of months now). Emotional as all get out (literally broke down during a commercial this week in tears)

I like to move it, move it...
Little baby is a squirmy thing! favorite time to move around is after food and about 10:30 pm. Like I said it is very light but at the same time very distinct- I can't wait to see on ultrasound which movements match up to which limbs.

Prayers
We have been so grateful this week for some answered prayers- God is good. He is good. We continue to pray for little baby's well being and growth. and OH SO grateful for its squirmy-ness. Our house is on the market and we know God is going to pick out the perfect family for our home if it is His will. If not- our home will continue to be our home. Very grateful that while we would love to move to a neighborhood, there is nothing wrong with our house and it suits us just fine for as long as the Lord has us here. I'm thankful that we need Him. There are so many changes going on and many that are out of our control-- perfect time to allow the all powerful merciful Father take the reins. As much as I would like to sit and plan (aka worry) our life right now, I've got a feeling His plan is much bigger and better.

Week 15

Another beautiful week in the second trimester- definitely feeling the energy coming back! I think it's hilarious how much my mood changes (the people around me probably feel differently). One day I will be completely stressed and unnerved at EVERYTHING and the next day I feel like the best kind of happy. Don't worry I forewarn the understanding people around me about my various moods :). I have been so grateful for the past 2 weeks- not only did we announce our pregnancy but I also started a new job. It has been a tad overwhelming with learning a new system- but at the same time God has graced me with some very patient people to train me. (hormones and all) it brings tears to my eyes how gracious and understanding they have been and they've only known me for 2 weeks. God is sweet like that. I praise and thank Him for these wonderful godly coworkers. I pray for their nerves and patience because I am NUTS right now- in a beautiful pregnant way. It is a delight to be surrounded by Christians who act out their faith in a joyous way. Which reminds me of First Wednesday service at church.
Poor B thought I was having a meltdown. and truth be told I was. For some reason I still get caught off guard at His beautiful reminders of love. I truely hope that it will always bring me to my knees with gratitude. In the middle of worship the band played my favorite verses from my favorite song.

"I'm gonna lift my hands til I can reach Heaven- I'm gonna shout your name til the walls come falling down- I've come to worship"

"Place of Freedom" Highlands Worship

God is good. This song has gotten me through depression- has helped me see light- and mostly brought me to His warm embrace. It is the song of my heart- It conquers my fears- It is my place of complete abandon of any attack the devil has on me and my precious family. I surrender to His worship- to the freedom that only His name can fulfill. This song represents every uphill battle and every joyous ride down of this bumpy road. Praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit working thru music.

So with a freed mind, creativity has finally come back to this mama's mind. I was missing it for 3 months. I love to DO and MAKE things. B and I decided tonight that when we find out what we are having we are going to make little munchkin a piece of furniture that hopefully it can grow up with and hold onto for many years. Sooo since we don't know what we're having but we are mere weeks away from knowing.. I decided an inspiration board would be fun to do.

For some reason, my creative juices were working alot more for baby boy than baby girl. I think girls just have too many different options- honestly though my baby boy room isn't exactly boyish. It's very gender neutral but I've loved this idea since before I was pregnant and I knew I wanted it for my little boy.

Levi Fisher Rawlins

I love the song "You are my sunshine" so weather will be the inspiration for my man's room. 1) The weather mobile will definitely be the center focus of the nursery- it will be big and hover above little Levi's crib. I will most likely make this from the many mobiles I have seen online. This one is my favorite. 2) These words will be up on the walls somehow maybe framed maybe on wood- I'm thinking hanging over changing table. 3) I don't know if I'll actually use this song but I love it because it's the song my dad and I danced to at our wedding. who knows? definitely rustic tho! 4) Thank goodness B's parents kept his crib and it is in mint condition- right now it is its natural wood but we will paint either white or distress white 5) I love this rug from Target- a pop of blue completes this lovely weather room. 6) This was by far my favorite grey and is already on our walls thanks to B and his momma. If we move before baby we will paint nursery same color no matter what gender. It's Behr's Gentle Rain

Millie Kate Rawlins

I struggled with little missy's overall inspiration so it's very general and overall Southern.1)I LOVE pink and navy. I also LOVE seersucker. Miss Millie Kate will not be without her monogram. 2)I will be sewing precious little pillows adorned with bows and ruffles in pink blue and white. 3) Again we will use B's crib most definitely painted white. 4) I really like these homemade "lanterns" made from cups, scrapbook paper and stringed lights. Also pennants will be in her room most likely with her little Southern name on them. 5) This rug would definitely be the centerpiece if I can make it. It's crocheted and made from rope- but if it comes to it I think I can do it! I love its doily shape! 6) Again this beautiful gray will be the background of little missy's room. It's a very light grey and looks great in the room now especially when windows are open!

I had so much fun doing this. I know half of you are thinking I shouldn't share my baby to be's names- but we've had Millie Kate's name picked out for 4 years and Levi Fisher for over a year now. If someone steals it then God bless their soul there will be two of them :) It's weird and awesome seeing their names with our name behind it. Another beautiful reminder of this life growing inside of me.

-How's the bump growing?-

Um some days I can really tell and other days not so much. Guess I'm still in the bloated stage. All my clothes still fit pretty normal.. filling out those jeans more if that was possible.

-How's the second trimester going?-

Still having a slight case of morning sickness about 2-3 times a week- not complaining I'll take it and praise the Lord that it's for great reason. Much more energy!! Yay! Feeling more like me and getting out of the house!! Perfect timing since this weekend is sunny and beautiful.

-Most excited about...?-

Being in the present. There are so many things to come. Finding out gender, feeling first kick, B feeling first kick... and I am so very excited for all of those things.. but I want to focus on today. Today is good. It is beautiful and filled with His glory. I will never have this moment again. My FIRST first trimester or second or week 15. I think that's a main reason for blogging- I don't want to forget how wonderful today is. To God be the glory.

WEEK 14!

YAY! We made it to announcement week!! Praise the Lord! We got see our little baby week 12 and it actually looked like a baby not a gummy bear- and it was beautiful. How the Lord made that baby so beautiful so quickly is another reason why He is my Lord and I do not want to serve any other god. He is perfect is in all His ways. I read this today 2 Peter 3:9 " The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." I think this is so true in so many areas of our lives- but ultimately our Lord is a sweet loving Father who is GIVING us time to reach lost ones.

So excited to be entering the beloved second trimester- it has been talked up! First trimester went a little something like this-- I KNEW at 5 weeks.. I did not tell the boy until we were 8 weeks! o.o i know- I just wanted to make sure little munchkin was in there! Brad said he knew but didn't want to ask.. so we'll call it even. Over the next 4 weeks we prayed for this sweet blessing's life- and it was the most beautiful secret between me, Brad, and God. It was another level of connection and affirmation of His great love! At week 9 I went to get my thyroid checked AGAIN and mentioned to the nurse that I thought I was pregnant and needed to schedule an ultrasound. She said I had to have a urine confirmation before they would schedule me so while I was there they did that and YEP preggers we are.. Oh and instead of scheduling it was "Come on back let's take a look" DEER IN HEADLIGHTS! Hold up I need Brad! They were waiting- so I nervously got on the table and BAM there the little gummy bear was. The fun part was telling Brad. Hey- we're for sure pregnant :-) That's when it was hard to keep it a secret- because it was actual confirmation of baby growing inside! And then finally week 12 came and WE got to see our sweet baby. We were so surprised at the difference that 3 weeks made because it went from looking like a little blurp that we could SAY "oh yea that's a baby?" to "OMG look at our baby!". We knew we wouldn't be able to hold the news in long and surprised our parents that night by just showing up to each of their houses and showing them their new grandbaby to be. They were all over the moon excited- especially when we told them how far along we were.

 (9 weeks)

(12 weeks)

 

So now we are all caught up! We are on week 14 and so overwhelmingly thankful. I'm so grateful for those quiet moments when it all just sinks in for a second that there is a life growing inside of me.

So How am I feeling at week 14? Glad you asked! Today I feel great! No sickly feelings and actually felt like getting out of the house (for the first time in 3 months). Hoping this is a good sign of things to come for second trimester, but when I do get sick I just look at that precious baby's little picture and it is SO worth it! I love it!
Cravings: NOT A THING- if I didn't like food so much I wouldn't eat.. hoping this goes away. Although today, I had a strange craving for a cold turkey sandwich but I think it's just cause I'm not suppose to have it.
#1 asked question: SO when do ya'll find out what it is?!- The answer- HOPEFULLY SOON! We want either because we would love to have at least one of each- we are trusting that God knows what we need and we know He has already been working on little friends and family members to play with!
I'm trying to not social media as much- not sure if blogging counts. So this will be my weekly update on how the BUMP is going- whatever I do I want it to be committed to the Lord. We owe Him all the glory and thanks. And I can't do this without Him holding me up. I can't say it enough times how I have felt every prayer that has gone up for us. Everytime I feel a prayer, I pray for whoever is lifting us up to be blessed not only here but abundantly in heaven.