Week 35

Well, well, well..... here we are. I really want to have a moment to complain. But instead we shall observe all complaints with a moment of silence.....



Thank you.
Ok so instead we are going to be so super excited that this little boy is joining us in 5 weeks or less! Woohoo! To say that I can't wait is the understatement of the century. Are we ready?..... um, sure- I mean our house is hot mess, his nursery isn't completely complete (lacking curtains), and oh we haven't packed our bags, installed carseat, or registered at hospital. no bigs. O.o
But we will NOT be anxious about anything IN JESUS NAME! amen.

God is too good to be caught up in the little things that make us feel like we'll be ready? I mean HELLO how can you possibly be "ready", to be responsible for another life for the next 18 years.. we're gonna do what seems to work out best.. put it in His hands and pray for our lives to surrender to His will.

And right now I'm praying for God's lamp to light my way. One of my very best friends once enlightened me that God provides a lamp for each step- not for your whole path. So in this situation at 35 weeks, with only 5 weeks to go, naturally all I can think about is the delivery room. But my gracious God keeps reminding me that He lights each day at a time. each step at a time. If He was ready for me to be in the delivery room, I'd probably be there. But He's given me some more time to grow in His trust. And that just really changes my focus.
What an amazing Father we have. And goodness just when we think we're at this intimate place with Him- He just throws this whole other dimension at us. Last year I prayed through many books to help distract from a huge prayer request and God taught me so much (and so much I need to pray up on again). For example, contentment. Um, yea- what is that? We live in this society of DIScontentment. I read through a couple of books on this subject and the Holy Spirit really transformed my heart. And sometimes I think when we learn about something that we automatically expect all our friends and family to jump on board and be transformed by OUR experience. No. That was obviously something that MY heart was lacking and needed attention. I learned that while we learn from each other's experiences- you, as an individual, must have Jesus encounters to really be transformed. And while I remind myself of lessons learned in the past year, contentment is something I have to work at. I have to constantly remind myself of the blessings that surround me. I have to take moments of silence (i.e. beginning of this post) to SILENCE all those complaints. It takes about 2 seconds to think of 5 things to be grateful for. Thankfulness 5 Complaints 0... BOOM.

speaking of BOOM. :-)

He's taken a bit of a growth spurt. And mommy can feel it! So yay for a growing boy! He's still loving to reassure me of his presence. Sweet boy. We have many one sided conversations in which he kindly replies with a body adjustment. B may or may not think I'm a nut for talking to my belly as much as I do. I especially love when he thinks I'm talking to him... um hello trying to talk to my unborn son here. Without complaining- progress has taken a.. downward shift :-) therefore bathroom breaks... ok let's just be honest. it's more like sleep breaks. because too much of my sleepy time is being spent on the porcelain bowl. I think before our next child we will redo our bathrooms what with all the sickness, potty breaks, and normal time spent in the bathroom... more attention should be paid into making it a little more relaxing. I'm positive that's top on the hubby's to do list. HA! Welp..  delaying the bed.

 

Praying that the peace that passes all UNDERSTANDING overwhelms your hearts and you fall to your knees with trust in our perfect Creator.

Week 34

Only 6 weeks left.... yep that has given me a panic attack about 10 times today.
When did this happen!? Where did time go!?
Holy smokes- it's like any day now. Approximately 44 days.
Ready? Nope! Scared out of my mind. Really starting to imagine delivery day, and it's setting in that one day soon it will not be my imagination it will be for real. I mean I'm so excited for Levi to get here it's just incredibly surreal to think that in about 6 weeks he will no longer be protected from the outside world.
I can't wait to hold him and love on him. It's just weird. Everything is freaking me out. For example, what was our dining room has now been transformed into Levi's play area.

It's not decorated or anything.. but this just happened like an hour ago.

We had a very generous baby shower this afternoon and I know I should have come home and taken a load off but I cannot rest when things are not in their place. (not that I'm a neat freak, but all this new stuff in boxes.. can't handle it). Thankfully I sequestered my parents and little brother to help me and B unbox and organize all of Levi's new additions. I think I'll sleep a little better tonight knowing everything has a place.

I'm always blown away by the love and generosity of the people close to us and today was no different. It really made me reflect on where we were a year ago and all the support we've had over the past year. God is so good and He has continued to show us His incredible love. I think we can all take for granted all that God has done for us, I know I do way too often. But it's in those moments of slowing down and seeing the impact that people have on your life that you realize how much our God truly cares for us. The people He has placed in our lives (for whatever amount of time) are instrumental in molding who we become. I looked around today at some amazing women and sat in awe of His kindness. Some I'd known from birth, some from teenage years, and some for five years or less- but they all have helped transform my journey with the Lord. I've always been able to relate to guys more than girls (simply because I can't handle drama) but God has shown me how wonderful it is to be surrounded by Godly women. They've taught me a lot about becoming a mother and a lot about being a loving wife. I'm so grateful for God's hand in putting these women in my path.

Braxton hicks.. not fun.

I know it's not real labor.. a. he's way too high b. I know it'll be way more intense. Just kind of came at an inconvenient time when I've been on a pregnancy high and then I'm around all these women and in pain. So sorry ladies. I hope you'll forgive me. Thankful that Levi was so active today and other people were able to see his... bold movements. Those are the moments when I think yep can't wait for you to be here little guy. ;-)

Thankful for everything coming together and for His peace that will allow me to REST tonight. Praying for continued guidance as we depend on Him more and more everyday.



 

Week 33

Have you ever tried something new?

Have you ever tried something you never thought you would do?

 

 

I'm incredibly thankful for the great God we serve. It's amazing how He knows our hearts and knows exactly what will pierce it and what will stir us up. I mean have you ever thought of that? Our creator- of all man- knows what makes you tick. He knows what lights your fire. He knows your vulnerabilities, your weaknesses, and your temptations- and He uses them all for His glory. He doesn't hold them against us because HE created them. God did not mess up when He made you. He put every quality in you because He knows exactly how your story is going to impact this world for His kingdom. So what I consider weaknesses is probably an insult to Him- it's as if I'm telling the creator of heaven, of the ocean, of our universe that He kinda missed a few screws when making me.

 

This week was a listening week- FOR SURE. And quite frankly this is the first time this week I have reflected on what all happened. God speaks to me but I don't hear Him until about the third time (that I can recognize). Even after I prepared my heart for listening- it still didn't sink in until that last attempt to get my attention. I wonder how long He's actually been trying to get my attention- because I am only aware after 3 firework displays of what He's asking of me.

 

He is stirring something big in my heart. My sweet Father sees so much in me and it's super overwhelming to be actively opening those gifts He has given me. I love getting back to that childlike faith that He asks of us. I'm so glad He has my hand and is leading me through life.

In pregnancy news.....

 

Statement I regret this week: "Acid reflux hasn't really bothered me too much."

 

Dumb. Dumb statement. ESPECIALLY when your sweet hubby finishes off the TUMS bottle without warning his precious preggo wife. Bless. Yea- two mornings of sickness. LOVELY. Sweet Levi is getting a little bigger than mommy's tummy can handle. Thankfully all has been restored and the TUMS now happily reside in a few rooms in the house, just in case. Little man's kicks and punches are becoming a little more.... enthusiastic. And we still love it. Just makes my eyeballs come out of my head a few times a day- but hey boys will be boys. I love when his back is up against my belly, he's already had a few hundred back scratches. We love to rock in his rocking chair- and daddy can't wait for his turn. We're kind of in love with this little boy and with all the planning, decorating, and rearranging- it's nice to stop and look into each others' eyes with disbelief that this is happening.

And it looks like it is happening! :-) It's funny because when he's sideways I look like I've "dropped" and then he'll flip around and be longways and I look like he's taking over my entire torso. He stays longways for the most part- I think he thinks my rib cage is a jungle gym- we're gonna have a talk about that when he comes out. A long talk.

 

You did not choose Me but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in my name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:16-17

This verse was brought to my attention my lovely Mary Kay director- this is our unit's focus verse this year and I love it. Overwhelmed to be chosen. Grateful to be appointed. Led to GO!



Week 32

Um, is this rain going to ever stop- I mean really! I feel like we live in the rain forest! ALTHOUGH on a normal Alabama July day it'd be 100 degrees and humidity 1000%- so as far as being pregnant in July goes.. the rain is making it more bearable than anticipated. But enough about the weather! Hope everyone's Independence Day was celebrated properly. Super grateful for those who fight for our freedom both past and present. Proud to personally know some of those great men and women and their families. We spent ours with family and friends pretty much all weekend- so it was a very good weekend.
With holidays though I seem to lose my focus on things- and in a week's time my priority list was shuffled to chaos. Being completely honest-- my mind is in a million places right now. Worship music always brings me back to my center, so I know when I am about to blog after a week like this I need a good 10 minutes of just listening for God's words. I feel like there's a lot of anticipation in the air. And my life is just on the edge of a lot of changes and I am so grateful for this great Rock that keeps me centered.
I'm reminded this week especially of His power in our lives. This week will be filled with a lot of prayer and quiet time with Him- whatever happens in our lives He remains, He lives, He gives us this hope. And sometimes I don't think we're suppose to have the words- I think sometimes when life is at this height of healing, anticipation, and finding our way- our new way.. we're simply suppose to listen for His voice. But our God isn't this "Wizard of Oz" voice- He wants us to be close to Him. He longs for us to sit in His lap and look into His face and wait for His instruction. And to take delight in just sitting with Him. I know when Levi gets here I am going to be simply overjoyed to be in his presence. And that day when he looks up at me and smiles my world will be complete. THAT intimacy- THAT love is what I imagine our God yearns for. The simple yearning to be loved.
The song "Come to Jesus" by Chris Rice just came on and it's kind of a perfect description of this week.

I love that bump. I love looking at it. I love watching that little person make it do waves. I love the kicks and punches that come from it. I love that he got the hiccups for the first time today. I'm completely overwhelmed by the love. I hope I am given many years to show my appreciation and love to God for this great blessing. But for today I hope He is blessed knowing it's all surrendered to Him- and every step taken is guided by His lamp.

 

Praying that His light draws us near.

And that our ears are prepared for His whisper.