Week 38

I keep reading "Week 38" over and over.

My heart is overflowing with emotions. I've been told this little bundle could join us any minute now- so everyday I wake up and first praise God for that joy- and then look at that good looking hubby and then I stare at this basketball belly. I mean my life can stop right now. I want to meet this little guy so badly but I feel incredibly blessed to have the privilege of being his provider for the past nine months. And I pray that we are graced with many years to help Levi Fisher see how great our God is. I pray that he is a generation changer- that B and I get to provide a home full of boys that just want to hang out; that we get to watch him be molded by the hands of our Creator and be completely blown away (over and over) by His goodness.
I believe in my heart that God has set our generation up to create big believers. I think He's prepared this huge dream for our kids. I mean like set this world on fire with the love of Christ. I know our world can be so scary, but as our world becomes more black and white and not so much gray- lines are being drawn. Mediocre is a thing of the past. You either take on your God purpose- own it- challenge it- live it.. or you let this world consume you. God is giving us this platform to not blend in- we have to stand out, be the light, and it's gotta be contagious.  It's got to be the place to be. It's got to be just this, overwhelming give me more of THAT. What if God let's us see this world change.. for the good. for the love. for His kingdom.
I'm so excited to hold this little baby and smother him in kisses and I want to relish in every moment He gives me- I do not want to wish this boy's life away. I know it starts at the beginning. I'm excited that even though he won't remember these first few years, it will not only mold how B and I continue to raise him but I know it's going to change our love relationship with our Father. I know He will continue to prepare our hearts for bigger dreams and break off any limits we put on our Saviour. It puts a smile on my face that we get to be a part of His dream. And God has surrounded us with so many other new parents that we get to do life together- I know He has knit us all together so that we would be encouraged constantly.

He is definitely getting ready for his big debut and my back is feeling it! We are having contractions- (regularly) not too painful.. yet. Just enough to get us excited and then they stop- but apparently it's completely normal so we sit and wait til he decides on his birthday. I mean it is a big decision so I can't say I blame him. Mommy and Daddy are just ready to meet this little blessing- oh and about 50+ other people. no biggie.

 

The devil has made his attempt in making me feel trapped and anxious and that was just completely put under my feet today during church. God delivered me from that feeling and my heart claims freedom in His name. It was super tempting to feel "ready for him to be here" and not in an excited way. And I know that is not of God- and He totally freed me of that with several worship songs and a great message on overcoming obstacles.

I'm so excited to hold Levi Fisher Rawlins but until he makes his big decision I'm going to continue to rub my belly and be thankful to have my sidekick with me every second of the day.

 

Praying for God's peace and His continued freedom.

 

Week 37

FULL TERM BABY!
Heck yes!
We made it!

And what a FULL week we had! We progressed slightly- not enough to call the troops but just enough for red alert.. cell phones on ring- on hip- car packed- carseat loaded and nervous/excited mommy and daddy to be! Regardless of whether he comes this week or in 3 weeks-- like hello he will be here.  CANNOT STOP TO THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH!

And Levi Fisher's room is officially DONE besides his little pictures that will go on the wall! So we wanted to share all our hard work in a few pictures!

This is the incredible barn door my husband built (door and all). This is definitely his favorite feature-- every time B passes his nursery he slides the door "just to make sure it works". I think he's a little proud- and he should be. It is TOTALLY better than I imagined. With a combination of Pinterest tutorials and creativity on our own part, we made it happen. I knew I wanted a sliding door because his old door opened up into the room and blocked the closet door- NOT functional! And I mean this just makes it a little boy's room! His rug is from Lowe's bought at a steal for less than $70! IKR!

These are my little touches to the room. Top Left- we didn't go full on fish theme but kept it simple and clean. One creative Saturday I painted these chevron (waves), bubbles, and little fishies paintings. Nothing too complicated but a good wall filler. We will scatter some more pictures around these to complete this wall. Bottom Left- I crocheted these two separately back before I was preggers and came across them and decided to make them into a cross since the colors matched perfectly and put them in a shadow box. Right- His sweet little initials sit atop his armoire which was the hubs a long time ago  (he painted white).

These are the back corners of his room. We got the lime green chevron curtains from Hobby Lobby. The crates were a last minute decision to screw together and fill the corner for his knick knacks- which is also where his monogrammed pillow that my amazing sister in law made. Such a sweet keepsake. The other corner occupies the hubby's fishing pole lamp which gives off the prettiest light. His changing table was the hub's parents old buffet table that we took the doors off and changed the knobs and of course painted to add a pop of color! We know we may never actually change a diaper on this but it does hold his diapers and wipes SO it is serving a purpose!

His sweet resting place. I'm pretty sure many of us slept in a crib similar to this one. It was B's old crib and we painted it white. The AMAZING crib bumper was made by my cousin- go "Like" Simply Darling on Facebook. She's awesome! Matching pillow from Hobby Lobby- bumper fabric also from Hobby Lobby. He has a chevron quilt and polka dot skirt and sheets all from Target.

And this little gem rests above his crib. The DIY hubby used his jig saw and cut out his name- I know he's pretty fabulous. The oar was found at Hobby Lobby and painted by my sweet little brother.

 

I gotta say, I had a very hard time deciding exactly how I wanted his room to look. I finally decided on the colors and knew that would be the "theme". I knew I wanted to incorporate fishing but didn't want it to be overpowering. I'm so thankful we were able to pretty much do everything ourselves and make it his room- full of hard work and a lot of love. It's not pottery barn but it's our little boy's room and I think it's our favorite room in the house. It has inspired me to fill the other rooms with as much attention----- in due time. :-)

 

 

speaking of due! That bump is about DUE! Levi is settling down a bit- or running out of room! I was able to get some major pampering done this weekend which I am so thankful for. It kind of put me in a relaxed state of mind which I've had to fight off all weekend. All I want to do is sleep.

 

I'm praying that these last days/weeks will be filled with rest that comes from Him. We want to be overwhelmed by His peace. I want to focus on Him- and I think God allowed us to get all our busy work done so that we would have time to really concentrate on His love. I know I've been distracted and even "out of order". As much as I would love to be holding my baby right now I'm so grateful our Father is giving us more moments to just be in His presence. I hope our minds can stop and be graced with still moments of His grace. I'm praying that the hubby and I can turn our eyes to Him this week and soak in His goodness and favor.

 

 

 

Week 36

Please excuse me while I pick my jaw off the ground.
It's hard to grasp we're within 30 days of holding our little tangible prayer.

And on perfect cue- "It is Well" comes on my Pandora.

The Lord has been preparing my heart for this post for a while now. Yesterday. August 3rd marked a year that we had our greatest loss. It was quite possibly the most "real" moments of our lives. Our hearts were opened and shattered and we had nothing to depend on- not even each other- except God. Those feelings and emotions and heartache have washed over me all weekend. I can't dwell on the hurt and ache but what I want to remember is what God did in this house that day.  I have to honor what He allowed to happen that day, because a lot of different things could have happened- but our Father showed us His face that day. God exposed me and Brad. He showed us real love. real dependence on Him. He brought us all to the same page- our love aligned. And we still struggled- every day was hard. Every day that we were weak- He gave us strength. There were so many days filled with tears and numbness. But there continued to be days- He continued to wake us up and give us another day. And so when I think about last year... I have to focus on what God did-- NOT on what the enemy would've liked to happen. And it is only by pure love that the Lord aligned that day to happen 3 days before our church's 21 days of prayer began. When our focus shifts to worship, to heal, to focus on His pure love for His children. I know that wasn't a coincidence- just like it's not a coincidence that we were able to announce this pregnancy at the time that our first baby would have been born- just like we are a month away from celebrating this little baby now. God has allowed a lot of healing by surrounding us with reminders of His great love. It's amazing to experience the rawness of complete dependency on the highest power.
I am just beside myself trying to imagine feeling this huge love for this sweet little boy.
**mushy moment**
As I sit across from my husband, with my headphones in, he's eating Moe's and watching the Braves and has no idea that I'm staring at him ;-) but I love him. God made him for me. He gave us this love and I encourage you ladies to be overwhelmed by the man of your house. Especially if he has experienced a great deal of "life" with you. Let those memories of love, "talks", laughs- just let it wash over you. The enemy would love for us to pick apart everything the other is doing "wrong", but what about all those days they choose to come home to you. None of us are perfect and that's the greatest part of love to me- we love anyways despite our faults. THAT is huge love. And it's God's grace that gives us the power to do so.

Want to know what's behind that bump.... The amazing sliding barn door my hubby started and finished today. Oh my goodness yall it is just the cutest! Next week Levi's room should be as close to complete as it's gonna get minus his little pictures that will fill up the walls. We are pretty proud of his room. Almost everything in his room was a labor of love by one of us (which explains why it has taken so long to finish).

We're definitely going to have to step it up on the rest of the house because his room is way cooler than all our other rooms.

I'm so excited for 21 days of prayer that kicked off today at Church of the Highlands. Monday thru Friday at 6 a.m. and Saturday at 9 a.m. you can go to a campus (or online) and join in on an hour of complete prayer and worship. It's so powerful and your heart will be filled with the Holy Spirit. I learned to love prayer from being invited to 21 days of prayer. I was never comfortable or knew what to pray, but when you spend a whole hour devoted to talking to God.. the Holy Spirit will fill your prayer with words and fill your heart with His desires. 

Would love to pray with you if anyone has any prayer requests you can comment or e-mail me at elyserawlins@gmail.com.

 

"In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:3

Week 35

Well, well, well..... here we are. I really want to have a moment to complain. But instead we shall observe all complaints with a moment of silence.....



Thank you.
Ok so instead we are going to be so super excited that this little boy is joining us in 5 weeks or less! Woohoo! To say that I can't wait is the understatement of the century. Are we ready?..... um, sure- I mean our house is hot mess, his nursery isn't completely complete (lacking curtains), and oh we haven't packed our bags, installed carseat, or registered at hospital. no bigs. O.o
But we will NOT be anxious about anything IN JESUS NAME! amen.

God is too good to be caught up in the little things that make us feel like we'll be ready? I mean HELLO how can you possibly be "ready", to be responsible for another life for the next 18 years.. we're gonna do what seems to work out best.. put it in His hands and pray for our lives to surrender to His will.

And right now I'm praying for God's lamp to light my way. One of my very best friends once enlightened me that God provides a lamp for each step- not for your whole path. So in this situation at 35 weeks, with only 5 weeks to go, naturally all I can think about is the delivery room. But my gracious God keeps reminding me that He lights each day at a time. each step at a time. If He was ready for me to be in the delivery room, I'd probably be there. But He's given me some more time to grow in His trust. And that just really changes my focus.
What an amazing Father we have. And goodness just when we think we're at this intimate place with Him- He just throws this whole other dimension at us. Last year I prayed through many books to help distract from a huge prayer request and God taught me so much (and so much I need to pray up on again). For example, contentment. Um, yea- what is that? We live in this society of DIScontentment. I read through a couple of books on this subject and the Holy Spirit really transformed my heart. And sometimes I think when we learn about something that we automatically expect all our friends and family to jump on board and be transformed by OUR experience. No. That was obviously something that MY heart was lacking and needed attention. I learned that while we learn from each other's experiences- you, as an individual, must have Jesus encounters to really be transformed. And while I remind myself of lessons learned in the past year, contentment is something I have to work at. I have to constantly remind myself of the blessings that surround me. I have to take moments of silence (i.e. beginning of this post) to SILENCE all those complaints. It takes about 2 seconds to think of 5 things to be grateful for. Thankfulness 5 Complaints 0... BOOM.

speaking of BOOM. :-)

He's taken a bit of a growth spurt. And mommy can feel it! So yay for a growing boy! He's still loving to reassure me of his presence. Sweet boy. We have many one sided conversations in which he kindly replies with a body adjustment. B may or may not think I'm a nut for talking to my belly as much as I do. I especially love when he thinks I'm talking to him... um hello trying to talk to my unborn son here. Without complaining- progress has taken a.. downward shift :-) therefore bathroom breaks... ok let's just be honest. it's more like sleep breaks. because too much of my sleepy time is being spent on the porcelain bowl. I think before our next child we will redo our bathrooms what with all the sickness, potty breaks, and normal time spent in the bathroom... more attention should be paid into making it a little more relaxing. I'm positive that's top on the hubby's to do list. HA! Welp..  delaying the bed.

 

Praying that the peace that passes all UNDERSTANDING overwhelms your hearts and you fall to your knees with trust in our perfect Creator.

Week 34

Only 6 weeks left.... yep that has given me a panic attack about 10 times today.
When did this happen!? Where did time go!?
Holy smokes- it's like any day now. Approximately 44 days.
Ready? Nope! Scared out of my mind. Really starting to imagine delivery day, and it's setting in that one day soon it will not be my imagination it will be for real. I mean I'm so excited for Levi to get here it's just incredibly surreal to think that in about 6 weeks he will no longer be protected from the outside world.
I can't wait to hold him and love on him. It's just weird. Everything is freaking me out. For example, what was our dining room has now been transformed into Levi's play area.

It's not decorated or anything.. but this just happened like an hour ago.

We had a very generous baby shower this afternoon and I know I should have come home and taken a load off but I cannot rest when things are not in their place. (not that I'm a neat freak, but all this new stuff in boxes.. can't handle it). Thankfully I sequestered my parents and little brother to help me and B unbox and organize all of Levi's new additions. I think I'll sleep a little better tonight knowing everything has a place.

I'm always blown away by the love and generosity of the people close to us and today was no different. It really made me reflect on where we were a year ago and all the support we've had over the past year. God is so good and He has continued to show us His incredible love. I think we can all take for granted all that God has done for us, I know I do way too often. But it's in those moments of slowing down and seeing the impact that people have on your life that you realize how much our God truly cares for us. The people He has placed in our lives (for whatever amount of time) are instrumental in molding who we become. I looked around today at some amazing women and sat in awe of His kindness. Some I'd known from birth, some from teenage years, and some for five years or less- but they all have helped transform my journey with the Lord. I've always been able to relate to guys more than girls (simply because I can't handle drama) but God has shown me how wonderful it is to be surrounded by Godly women. They've taught me a lot about becoming a mother and a lot about being a loving wife. I'm so grateful for God's hand in putting these women in my path.

Braxton hicks.. not fun.

I know it's not real labor.. a. he's way too high b. I know it'll be way more intense. Just kind of came at an inconvenient time when I've been on a pregnancy high and then I'm around all these women and in pain. So sorry ladies. I hope you'll forgive me. Thankful that Levi was so active today and other people were able to see his... bold movements. Those are the moments when I think yep can't wait for you to be here little guy. ;-)

Thankful for everything coming together and for His peace that will allow me to REST tonight. Praying for continued guidance as we depend on Him more and more everyday.



 

Week 33

Have you ever tried something new?

Have you ever tried something you never thought you would do?

 

 

I'm incredibly thankful for the great God we serve. It's amazing how He knows our hearts and knows exactly what will pierce it and what will stir us up. I mean have you ever thought of that? Our creator- of all man- knows what makes you tick. He knows what lights your fire. He knows your vulnerabilities, your weaknesses, and your temptations- and He uses them all for His glory. He doesn't hold them against us because HE created them. God did not mess up when He made you. He put every quality in you because He knows exactly how your story is going to impact this world for His kingdom. So what I consider weaknesses is probably an insult to Him- it's as if I'm telling the creator of heaven, of the ocean, of our universe that He kinda missed a few screws when making me.

 

This week was a listening week- FOR SURE. And quite frankly this is the first time this week I have reflected on what all happened. God speaks to me but I don't hear Him until about the third time (that I can recognize). Even after I prepared my heart for listening- it still didn't sink in until that last attempt to get my attention. I wonder how long He's actually been trying to get my attention- because I am only aware after 3 firework displays of what He's asking of me.

 

He is stirring something big in my heart. My sweet Father sees so much in me and it's super overwhelming to be actively opening those gifts He has given me. I love getting back to that childlike faith that He asks of us. I'm so glad He has my hand and is leading me through life.

In pregnancy news.....

 

Statement I regret this week: "Acid reflux hasn't really bothered me too much."

 

Dumb. Dumb statement. ESPECIALLY when your sweet hubby finishes off the TUMS bottle without warning his precious preggo wife. Bless. Yea- two mornings of sickness. LOVELY. Sweet Levi is getting a little bigger than mommy's tummy can handle. Thankfully all has been restored and the TUMS now happily reside in a few rooms in the house, just in case. Little man's kicks and punches are becoming a little more.... enthusiastic. And we still love it. Just makes my eyeballs come out of my head a few times a day- but hey boys will be boys. I love when his back is up against my belly, he's already had a few hundred back scratches. We love to rock in his rocking chair- and daddy can't wait for his turn. We're kind of in love with this little boy and with all the planning, decorating, and rearranging- it's nice to stop and look into each others' eyes with disbelief that this is happening.

And it looks like it is happening! :-) It's funny because when he's sideways I look like I've "dropped" and then he'll flip around and be longways and I look like he's taking over my entire torso. He stays longways for the most part- I think he thinks my rib cage is a jungle gym- we're gonna have a talk about that when he comes out. A long talk.

 

You did not choose Me but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in my name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:16-17

This verse was brought to my attention my lovely Mary Kay director- this is our unit's focus verse this year and I love it. Overwhelmed to be chosen. Grateful to be appointed. Led to GO!



Week 32

Um, is this rain going to ever stop- I mean really! I feel like we live in the rain forest! ALTHOUGH on a normal Alabama July day it'd be 100 degrees and humidity 1000%- so as far as being pregnant in July goes.. the rain is making it more bearable than anticipated. But enough about the weather! Hope everyone's Independence Day was celebrated properly. Super grateful for those who fight for our freedom both past and present. Proud to personally know some of those great men and women and their families. We spent ours with family and friends pretty much all weekend- so it was a very good weekend.
With holidays though I seem to lose my focus on things- and in a week's time my priority list was shuffled to chaos. Being completely honest-- my mind is in a million places right now. Worship music always brings me back to my center, so I know when I am about to blog after a week like this I need a good 10 minutes of just listening for God's words. I feel like there's a lot of anticipation in the air. And my life is just on the edge of a lot of changes and I am so grateful for this great Rock that keeps me centered.
I'm reminded this week especially of His power in our lives. This week will be filled with a lot of prayer and quiet time with Him- whatever happens in our lives He remains, He lives, He gives us this hope. And sometimes I don't think we're suppose to have the words- I think sometimes when life is at this height of healing, anticipation, and finding our way- our new way.. we're simply suppose to listen for His voice. But our God isn't this "Wizard of Oz" voice- He wants us to be close to Him. He longs for us to sit in His lap and look into His face and wait for His instruction. And to take delight in just sitting with Him. I know when Levi gets here I am going to be simply overjoyed to be in his presence. And that day when he looks up at me and smiles my world will be complete. THAT intimacy- THAT love is what I imagine our God yearns for. The simple yearning to be loved.
The song "Come to Jesus" by Chris Rice just came on and it's kind of a perfect description of this week.

I love that bump. I love looking at it. I love watching that little person make it do waves. I love the kicks and punches that come from it. I love that he got the hiccups for the first time today. I'm completely overwhelmed by the love. I hope I am given many years to show my appreciation and love to God for this great blessing. But for today I hope He is blessed knowing it's all surrendered to Him- and every step taken is guided by His lamp.

 

Praying that His light draws us near.

And that our ears are prepared for His whisper.